- Your partner tries to shape you.
The second you feel forced to change your morals, values and life choices (big or small) in order to satisfy your partner, know that your relationship isn’t taking a healthy route. A true partner should love you the way you are, not try to mold you into the person he/she wishes you were. A true partner should help you stand for what you believe in (if it isn’t negative and doesn’t cause you harm), even if he/she has an opposing view. A true partner should help you grow and embrace the beautiful and valuable person you are, not shape you according to his or her likes and dislikes.
2. “My way or the highway”.
In a healthy relationship, both partners should discuss everything together and eventually reach a common ground. If it always goes one person’s way and the other always sacrifices and puts double the effort, it’s definitely not a good sign.
3. Your partner abuses you, either physically or mentally.
Some people are blindfolded by their love for their partners that they fail to admit the mental and emotional abuse they’re undergoing and refuse to see the red flags. When your partner is going through a hard time, it’s okay to overlook certain behaviors or make sacrifices. However, some issues are serious and are dangerous to overlook. Know when to draw the line.
4. You often find yourself hiding things from your partner, and vice versa.
Any healthy relationship should be built on honesty and respect. One white lie may eventually lead to a chain of other lies, and you’ll find it more and more difficult to come clean with your partner. Hence, it’s always better to be honest from the start. Things like texting others behind your partner’s back, lying about your whereabouts, or even hiding an emotional burden you’re experiencing from your second-half could eventually put an end to the relationship.
5. When it starts feeling one sided.
Is this really the person I want to spend the rest of my life with? I keep imagining myself with other people, should I feel guilty? Am I a bad person? I lost feelings and I’m constantly thinking of ending this relationship, but what if I regret it later on? What if I hurt my partner? One of the hardest feelings ever is being stuck between not wanting to hurt your partner and attempting to save yourself from a relationship your heart can’t accept no matter how hard you try. But remember:
6. Your partner makes you feel insecure about yourself.
In a healthy relationship, your partner should make you feel like you’re the only one in his or her eyes. He/she should always make you feel good about yourself and boost your confidence and self-esteem. If you feel like your partner lowers your confidence and that you don’t feel stronger in each other’s presence, it’s not a good sign.
7. Your partner belittles your problems.
When you’re in a relationship, he/she is the only one you want to talk to the first thing in the morning and before you fall asleep. He/she is the first person you wish to communicate your good and bad news to. He/she should be your right arm and human diary. Hence, when your partner overlooks your problems and makes you feel like you shouldn’t feel a certain way or that you’re being over dramatic, he/she is toxic for you. Your feelings are valid, and a treatment like that may hinder your growth.
8. You’re constantly sad or in a state of confusion.
If you feel like you get more anxious, angry or distressed as soon as you see your partner, there’s probably something you still can’t get over that once brought you pain; it might be a grudge, fear, or anything of that sort. Either way, this relationship has a toxic effect on you. Ask yourself whether you can eventually forgive, forget and live with it, or if the damage done is too much for you to bear.
9. When your partner doesn’t take no for an answer and shoots down your reasoning.
This is pretty much self-explanatory. People who shoot down your reasoning and don’t give you a choice or room to voice your feelings and opinions are the definition of toxicity.
10. You’re scared to speak your mind or say your opinion
The tenth and final point is somewhat linked to the previous point. You should reach your utmost level of comfort when you’re speaking to your love interest. Your partner should be the most person you feel comfortable around, not a person you tend to filter your words, thoughts and feelings around. If you don’t feel comfortable around your partner, why are you in a relationship in first place?